We have always greatly admired how vocal and motivational Sophia Bush is. In a recent op-ed piece she penned for Cosmopolitan’s February issue, the Chicago P.D. star encourages self-love and confidence by sharing her story about no longer searching for “the one.”
“In my 20s, when I was starting out my career as an actor, I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but one found me and became serious, even though I hadn’t planned to settle down until my 30s,” Bush explained. The 34-year-old briefly married her former One Tree Hill co-star, Chad Michael Murray in 2005. “But when the person you’re with asks you to marry him, you think: This must be happening because it’s supposed to.”
Although Bush does not name-drop Murray or dwell on why the relationship did not work out, she makes sure to not let the situation define her as an individual, which is why she has avoided discussing the failed marriage over the course of the last ten years.
“The reality is that, yes, it was a massive event in my life. And the trauma of it was amplified by how public it became, which was incredibly foreign and bizarre to a girl who’d been just another college kid 24 months before her life blew up,” Bush admitted.
After the split, the newly single actress received support from a guy friend, who temporarily became more than a friend. However, that short-lived romance was a valuable lesson for the California native.
“Ever heard of the phrase ‘It’s a reason, a season, or a lifetime?’ Well, this particular relationship was just a season, but still, it was life shaping,” the actress revealed. “It truly was my space to heal. And I was able to process all that had happened and find a deeper understanding of love.”
Bush eventually learned to appreciate all the relationships that come and go throughout her life, as they serve a specific purpose at a certain point in time.
Some are meant to heal you, some are meant to teach you how to build yourself up, and some are meant to show you how to trust your own intuition.
“You call in exactly whom and what you need over the course of your life, as you are learning life’s lessons. And learn them you will,” she continued. “Even if you try to avoid these teachings, they’re coming for you.”
The reality taught Bush that not every love can last forever, coming to the understanding that just because a relationship doesn’t lead to a lifetime commitment, it is not necessarily a failure. A few months with the right person can be just as rewarding of an experience as being with someone else for a decade. It all comes down to where you are at in your life and what you ultimately need.
“When you take the pressure of The One off, you’ll open yourself up to endless possibilities. You’ll learn to have a truly deep, knowing relationship with yourself first. Then the rest will fall into place,” she concluded. “Reasons, seasons, and lifetimes. They’re all valid.”
Yes, yes, yes. We are truly inspired by Sophia’s raw and intimate words. It may not be easy and it may be a process of trial and error. But, at the end of the day, self love should always be your first love.
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